Afternoon Tea 9.14.21 - Productivity Dysphoria

MooLoo, Dumbass Exchange, Racist Emojis.

Chinese agitprop is getting pretty intense, teaching cows to use a latrine, autonomous armed ground vehicles, digital “Dumbasses” exchange, you might have productivity dysphoria, and racist emojis are a thing. It’s Tuesday, September 2021, and this is your Tea. Today’s vibe comes at you from Urbandawn & Keeno, two of the best orchestral drum & bass producers on the planet. Swim in it.

Pro-PRC Influence Campaign Expands to Dozens of Social Media Platforms, Websites, and Forums in at Least Seven Languages, Attempted to Physically Mobilize Protesters in the U.S. (FireEye) It’s not just the GRU & Russian hackers trying to astroturf protests & counter protests in the same place. The Chinese have gotten into the game in a big, deep way.

In fresh regulatory move, China tells tech giants to stop blocking rivals' links (Reuters) & Netizens Force Baidu to Make Verbal “Prisoner Exchange,” Set “Dumbasses” Free (China Digital Times) The first link is obvious, and a thing we don’t actually allow here in the USA. The second is hysterical and doesn’t really make sense until you dig in on how censorship behind the Great Firewall works. Once you do, it’s even more hilarious.

Israeli firm unveils armed robot to patrol volatile borders (AP) Oh great, autonomous ground robots. Because aerial drones with the potential to kill without a human in the loop was such a good idea.

Prosecution Witness in Netanyahu Trial Killed in Plane Crash (Haaretz) Uhm, what?

Affidavit: Texas man murdered woman, shot her husband, because they voted for Biden (KWTX) Meanwhile, in Texas, the Jewish Satanist Party is apparently the QAnon bingo phrase of the month.

Tesla opens a showroom on Native American land in New Mexico (Business Insider) To get around “no direct show room” laws, Musk built one on Native land. Infuriating to the car dealers, gotta give it to Musk on this one, this was a smart play against an incumbent who sucks. Now go hire a bunch of Native Americans.

We Found Rage In A Hopeless Place (BuzzFeed.News) Hot Girl Summer turned into Hot Rage Summer, and a lot of us aren’t entirely sure why.

Racist Emojis Are the Latest Test for Facebook, Twitter Moderators (Bloomberg) Irony, humor, sarcasm, and in-group signaling will always be one step ahead of moderators who aren’t actually tasked with shutting down interaction on a platform.

Do You Have Productivity Dysmorphia (Refinery 29) Fascinating idea that instantly depressed the hell out of us because of how many boxes it checked.

Scientists Are Toilet-Training Baby Cows to Cut Emissions (Bloomberg) & No bull: Scientists potty train cows to use ‘MooLoo’ (AP) If even 10-20% of cow pee and methane could be captured, it could translate into billions of pounds of climate change accelerating chems not being put into the atmosphere and ground soil. Now to get the chickens to turn the lights out when they’re done.

Poem of the Tea: While he went a bit red pill in his later years, Norm McDonald at his best was truly incisive and funny. He also hid his cancer diagnosis for nine years according to reports. May he rest a success. This agonizing 4 minutes is such a bad joke it becomes poetry in its own frustrating way.

Yours,